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WHAT I LEARNED MY FIRST YEAR OF MARRIAGE Posted on April 2, 201719 Comments


As Nathaniel and I come up on finishing our first year of marriage, I know we have only grown closer. No doubt, we had our fights, our debates, and our disagreements, but looking back, I can actually say that God used everything for the better. On the day I said “I do,” I never thought I could be any happier in my relationship, but I was wrong.

I am proud that I can make that last statement, but do not be fooled: marriage was not easy. There are always hardships. But, between those hard-learned lessons and some additional Bible studies, Nathaniel and I are both learning to be loving, God-fearing spouses. Here are a few ways we have been working to do that.

The Image of Marriage

The more Bible studying I do, the more I see the representation of Christ in marriage. I have begun to understand it as God’s ministry, and this has given me the heart of desire for success for my marriage and husband.


In my understanding of God’s purpose for marriage, I understand my place as a helpmate for my husband. A wife is to have an ever-giving heart that is fueled by God. This has begun to give me fulfillment as I work to fit in my important role.

Serving God

Sometimes, my husband is human. Sometimes, he doesn’t put his clothes in the hamper, or he leaves a mess at the sink. Serving God through my respect and service to God has truly helped me help my husband, even in the times I feel he doesn’t deserve it.


Men want RESPECT. They long for it; they need it. When Nathaniel is not fulfilling my needs, I often find that I have stopped fulfilling his. I have learned that our actions often reflect one another.

Paying Attention


My husband does for me in lots of small ways. Recognizing those small things that he does- getting me water, asking me to sit with him- has stirred up my appreciation for him. I feel like its often not the appreciation that us women lack, it is the attention to the details and small gestures.


This is the single most important lesson I have learned. Whether you have problems in your marriage and need guidance, or you feel you need to step back and just thank God for your husband, prayer is the answer. This has helped me to learn my heart and guide it to the will of God.

I love the growth and love my husband and I have experienced the past year. There is nothing I would trade for the lessons that have strengthened my marriage.



  1. Marriage is definitely a lot of work, but it’s well worth the time and energy to make it work. It’s fun to look back and see how far you’ve come as a couple.

  2. I totally agree that prayer is always the answer! I’ve enjoyed married life for almost 35 years and looking back, I wonder where the time went. Marriage does have its ups and downs, but in the end, it’s so worth it.

  3. I guess the first year of marriage is the toughest part as its an adjustment period. You are right that prayers can really solve a lot of problems as it can help give you guidance too.

  4. Going to God is really the only thing that gets you through a lot of times! Marriage is hard, but cherish it. My husband died unexpectedly 3 years ago. We had our shares of fights that is for sure, but we were married 22 years and miss him very much.

  5. This is such a sweet post. It made me reminisce my first year of marriage too. Life is full of challenges and most of the time, things don’t work out the way we want to, so both husband and wife must work together to make their marriage a success. I love that you put God in the center of your lives. That is the best way to keep a marriage strong.

  6. I have always heard that the first few years of marriage are the hardest. It is because you are really getting to know one another while growing into a new role of sharing and compromising while continuing to be lovely to one another. After 20 years of marriage, I can honestly say life together with your sweetheart and spouse is the most special thing and cherish it as such. You are on the same team, just remember that. God will always bless you.

  7. Congratulations on your first year of marriage. I think when you first get married there’s gonna be a lot of bumps in the roads because you are used to doing stuff you’re own way and they are used to doing stuff their way. But it does sometimes get easier but is always work. Love is worth it.

  8. Congratulations on your first year of marriage! Marriage takes a lot of work, but it is so worth the effort. We are all human, but with God’s help anything is possible.

  9. The first year of marriage is an adjustment but it is also an adventure. Wonderful to look back and see how far you both have come.

  10. Aww what a sweet post. Marriage is definitely difficult – I can attest. Keep up what you’re doing – and you have my wishes for many more years of happiness

  11. Marriage does take work and is not all a fairytale. They say that first year is the hardest but I think its how you see it. Some do and some people do not.

  12. Congratulations on your first year of marriage! There are so moments that are more challenging than others, but just remember that you guys are one now – you must stick together as one team!

  13. Marriage was never meant to be easy. It’s great, it’s loving, it understanding but it’s not easy. It takes work to change and grow with someone. What a beautiful post… here’s to many more.

  14. Congratulations! Yes, marriage is a lot of hard work. Sometimes, tho, you just sit back and think how lucky you are… to not have killed each other 😉 That’s where prayer comes in hehe 🙂

  15. Congratulations on your first year of marriage. It sounds like you have learned alot during that time. Marriage is such a wonderful thing with ups and downs…but so worth it with the right person:)

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