As a newly wed, I cannot say that my husband and I have any real problems. Sometimes we bicker over little things, but I can honestly say that I am truly happy in my marriage. I always take pride in pampering Nathaniel and making sure he knows he is my top priority. (Given, this is easier without kids!). But, when my sister suggested I join her in this thing called The Husband Project, I couldn’t say no. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage, and I knew there would be no harm in trying to improve mine.
I did not know what I was getting into. Of the 21-day program, I am on day 10. I thought this was going to be all about a woman’s guide to “inspiring” her husband to be how she wanted, but I was surely wrong. Kathi Lipp, the author of the book and founder of the project, uses small tasks to inspire women to be who they should be. Since I have started, I am discovering more and more ways that I was the one having to be put up with, not the other way around. For everything from pride to selfishness, I was guilty, and I didn’t even realize. Actually, it was more like I refused to notice. The Husband Project engages its participants spiritually to improve their marriages through their own actions.
What Is The Husband Project?
The project is meant to take about a month. The first week, you read the book. This will give you a good understanding of what kind you will be looking to, and it should help with planning. For the next three weeks, you will be completing daily tasks without your husband’s knowledge.
None of the tasks are particularly difficult. For me, taking my husband out to his favorite restaurant is more difficult because I stay at home. He pays every time we go out, so for me, I have to think outside the box to make it special. Not to mention, 2 days before this task, he decided to go on a diet. This is a task I have yet to do, but I am trying to plan something big. I almost never complete a task on the day it is assigned; every situation is different. Kathi encourages you to use your imagination and tailor each task according to your marriage.
My Favorite Tasks
My favorite task I completed a few days ago: wear something just for him. While Nathaniel has an opinion on clothes, he has a much stronger opinion on my hair. For years, I have been growing my hair out, and I have only found that it annoys me. But, Nathaniel loves it. When we were first dating, he complimented my hair almost every day because I made an effort to fix it. Now, my efforts to fix my hair hardly ever go beyond a ponytail. So, for this project, I straightened my hair and did my makeup, just like I use to when we were dating. He complimented it several times when he got home, and the next morning, he asked if I would do my hair again. But not all of the tasks are even that noticeable.
Today, I got rid of something that annoyed him. I thought long and hard about this one. I thought about cleaning his desk, but it wasn’t all that messy. I thought about cleaning the tub, but he doesn’t really care about that. Then I remembered that he is always running out of undershirts for work. It doesn’t seem to matter when I do laundry, he can never find his shirts and boots. So, this morning I set out his whole outfit on his office chair. He got up and was able to get ready in no time. In his spare time, he came and laid down next to me and thanked me for laying out his clothes. I didn’t even think it would matter enough for him to say anything!
A Case For The Husband Project
Throughout the past week and a half, this project has inspired me to go above and beyond. The approval I have gotten from Nathaniel only inspires me to want to do more. Since I started, I have been enjoying seeing my husband receive small blessings and it only makes me want to do more. As small as I thought this project would be, it has turned into something that will change our marriage forever. And, it is something I will tuck away to use later on when things are not as smooth. I must say I am a true believer in The Husband Project and the spiritual blessings it brings on the women that embark on it.